Life After Death
by Hasegawa-san
Summary: The end is only the beginning. IchiRuki, ByakuRuki, KaienRuki, RenRuki, ByaRen if you squint. Warning: possible OOC.
1. Prologue

**Author's Note**

**Hello everyone, I'm baaaack! :D With a new story, hopefully with longer chapters and better descriptions, and my favourite pairings :) I'll try to update this as much as possible, so enjoy! Oh, this prologue was heavily influenced by another fic I read where it started also with the final showdown. Please don't accuse me of plagiarism! Oh, and this prologue is pretty long for a prologue. Yet I couldn't bear to cut it :( Means that I have to try my best to write long chapters, or chapters even longer than this. That's gonna be a challenge... Anyway, hope you enjoy this! Thank you!**

--

_INOUE ORIHIME_

I'm floating.

Encapsulated in a huge, transparent bubble that's inches off the ground, I can only watch as my comrades fight and are being fought against.

My feelings of helplessness are further intensified by the fact that even though I can see them, none of them can see me. I cannot even let them know I am supporting them, that even though I am too weak to do anything, I am cheering them on.

Aizen-sama is so cruel.

I tear my eyes away from Sado-kun's lifeless body and Soi Fon-taichou bleeding profusely all over the throne room floor. Red, red keeps coming out. Red against white. White against red.

I am near catatonic after watching this battle for hours.

A flash of white appears in front of me, obscuring my view of Soi Fon-taichou. I see the sign of the Fourth Division, and I feel relief. Soi Fon-taichou will not die, with Unohana-taichou looking after her. In the final showdown against Aizen-sama and the Arrancars, we cannot afford to have casualties.

Or rather, _I_ cannot bear to have casualties. Too many people have fought and died over me.

While Unohana-taichou is seemingly intent on healing Soi Fon-taichou completely, I see another flash of white, but this time it is coupled with black hair and a spark of green. My eyes widen. I would have known that shade of green anywhere – my captor, Ulquiorra Schiffer.

The spark of green against Ulquiorra's hand, as pale as death, widens and brightens, to an extent where I have to shield my eyes. I want to scream to Unohana-taichou, to tell her, "Run!" But while I can hear the muted sounds of metal against metal, screams and grunts of battle, they cannot hear me.

Like I said, Aizen-sama is indeed, a cruel man.

All of a sudden, the green light shining through my closed eyelids disappears. I open my eyes hesitantly, afraid to see two female bodies before me.

Instead, I see Ulquiorra with a lethal, mace-like sword with spikes on it through his chest. His eyes flicker towards it, and then narrow. I turn to see his attacker, but am blinded by green light. After the smoke has faded away, I see Ulquiorra lying on the ground, red staining his snow-white chest, the colour and life gone out of his brilliantly green eyes.

Still holding the offending sword is the traitor Ichimaru Gin. My eyes widen. Ichimaru was not a real traitor after all! Instead of the extended Shinsou Ichimaru was said to possess, his weapon has developed. This is probably his Bankai. While his sword is spectacular – gleaming as brightly as the moon, the tips of the spikes pointed like fangs – Ichimaru himself is dying.

Ulquiorra's last Cero has inflicted a fatal wound on him, and seeing the poor man who turned traitor on Aizen-sama at the last minute die in front of me, I long to shout "Reject!" and return him to his original, unhurt state. But as long as Aizen-sama lives, this barrier exists, and I am kept a witness to the battle.

A scream pierces the air. "Gin!" Rangiku-san rushes over, her eyes a whirlpool of emotions. Relief, anger, sadness, shock, horror – there are too many to describe. They are too heartbreaking to.

"Rangiku…" The once joking and lilting accent of Ichimaru Gin is now a grimace of pain.

"Don't move, Gin! Don't move!" Rangiku-san says, panicked. "We must get someone to help you… Unohana-taichou! Help!"

"Don't… bother…" Ichimaru's words are becoming more disembodied, even with the slight soundproofing of my bubble. I see him open his blue-green eyes. Whereby once they glinted like shards of ice, they are now cloudy and misty.

"I… d'serve to die… fer my sins. But… It was good ta see ya 'gain, Ran-chan." With that, his eyes close and his chest stops heaving. Rangiku-san hugs him close and wails a cry I have never heard before. It is a cry of pain, when one's closest dies. I want to run over to Rangiku-san, to comfort her and tell her it's alright, to help her liked she once helped me. But I cannot do anything, and I hate myself.

Tears flowing freely now, I look away from the two lovers and my gaze darts to the far end of the room, settling on a tall figure dressed in swirling black coupled with streaks of white, the bright orange of his hair cutting a huge contrast.

Kurosaki-kun. Ichigo.

He moves with lightning-speed to where I know Aizen-sama is. But Aizen-sama seems to have seen his plan, and instantly I feel the barrier disappear. There is no time to escape, for I find myself in Aizen-sama's iron fist, his hand around my throat, choking the life out of me.

"Kurosaki Ichigo. Would you kill me if I had this woman's life in my hands?"

"So what if you do? I'll just save Inoue and then kill you!"

"Strong words." I hear Aizen-sama's low chuckle, through the fog collecting in my brain. I am dying from the lack of air. Aizen-sama's fist closes even tighter around my throat and I do not think I can hold out any more.

With all my strength, I squeak out, "Aizen… sama…"

"Do not speak, fool. Do you think you can plead for your life? Even after I know about your impending betrayal by rejecting the Hougyoku?"

Even with Aizen-sama's grip on me, I break out into a cold sweat. He knew? All this time?

"AIZEN! Your opponent is me!" Kurosaki-kun bellows, like the loud and determined person he is. His voice takes on a metallic quality as I feel tendrils of Hollow reiatsu collect around him to solidify, forming the shape of a mask on his face. Hollow form.

Hurry, hurry.

Leave me, let me be.

"Ahhhhhh!" Kurosaki-kun yells and rushes forward. I feel the wind blowing at me. Aizen-sama's fingers tighten yet again, and I am sure it is over.

A second later, I am in Kurosaki-kun's arms, the pressure on my neck gone. But I hear Kurosaki-kun's pained grimace and I know something is wrong. We both fall to the floor and I come away from Kurosaki-kun with blood staining the pristine white of my Arrancar outfit. No. _No._ I turn around, and see Aizen-sama with his sword out and a smirk on his lips.

"Get back, Inoue!" I am pushed back, and I hear Kurosaki-kun's voice straining. He is gathering all his strength, preparing for one last go at Aizen-sama. But he mustn't do it. He's injured; he'll get hurt. He mustn't do it!

"Kurosaki-kun!"

I am too late.

"GETSUGA… TENSHOU!"

This attack is unlike any other I have ever seen. It reverberates with unholy power and causes it to take on the shape of a huge, taloned monster. It scares me, as Kurosaki-kun's Hollow form always does. But this fear is different. It makes me want to run away and never look back. Still, I remain where I am, and despire my fear, my confidence rises. Aizen-sama could not possibly take such a hit.

And I am right. Aizen-sama is engulfed by the attack, the taloned monster shrieking and tearing into him. As he disappears, I see a hint of a smile on his face. But soon, all that is left of Aizen-sama are the footprints on the once shining, but now bloodstained throne room floor.

"It's… over…" I hear Kurosaki-kun's tired and relieved voice, but with the hint of a smile.

I try to stand, but my legs give way and I collapse. Whatever force gave me the power to stand just now, has now disappeared. I am incapacitated. I cannot go to Kurosaki-kun's side.

"Ichigo!"

I hear Kuchiki-san's voice, urgent and worried. She shunpos past me without glancing at me. Her sword, too, is stained with blood. Blood, blood, blood. The colour, the texture, the feel of it are all branded into my memory.

"Kuchiki… san?"

"ICHIGO!" Her cry turns anguished and if possible, even more pained than Rangiku-san's. And then I see the red flower blossoming on the floor beneath Kurosaki-san, and I understand.

Kurosaki-kun – no, Ichigo – is dying.

"Kuro… saki… san…" Even my voice is giving way. I slump to the floor, and now I understand why I could never fight in the first place. I am too weak. I always have been weak, compared to these Shinigami.

"Ichigo! Hang in there!" Kuchiki-san is agitated.

"Rukia… don't worry… I'll see you in Soul Society soon…"

"Baka! You aren't dying! You're staying with me!"

"Catch… ya later…" Another hint of a smile.

"Ichigo… Ichigo? ICHIGO!"

I tilt my head the slightest bit, and see Kuchiki-san holding Ichigo in her arms, sobbing as she cradles his head. Ichigo's limp arm falls from her back, and I slowly realize that arm will never move again.

Watching this, now I know: Ichigo has never loved me. I have never been the object of his affections. After all, what did I do to deserve it? Kuchiki-san is the right person for him. They were made for each other, never one without the other.

Now that Ichigo is gone, what will Kuchiki-san do?

My eyes close, and hot tears flow out from under my eyelids once again. It is over, I tell myself. It is over.

But why does it feel like the beginning?


	2. Chapter 1

**Author's Note**

**This is the first chapter, and I'm quite excited, because there's more plot movement here :) To answer your questions: no, this will not be an AU fic, because I don't really like AU. / Everything will be happening in Soul Society, but that remains to be seen. Also, if some of you think that Orihime sounded emo and angsty in the prologue, I think she would be like that if people were getting killed in front of her. -.- Besides, this fic is also in the genre ANGST, but this chapter is anything but ;) It will get angsty later on though! I'm depriving you of your chapter, bye! P.S. Reviews are much appreciated :)**

--

_KUCHIKI RUKIA_

Five years has passed since he died, and since then a lot has changed.

Renji is now the Captain of the 3rd Division. It's only fitting that he take over that division as Ichimaru was not a traitor after all.

But my feelings towards Ichimaru have not changed. I still feel the familiar snake coiling around my shoulders whenever someone mentions his name, even when mentioned in a good way.

Now that the position of 6th Division Vice-Captain is empty, I have taken over Renji's place, and get to follow Nii-sama around. I don't know why I've been promoted, actually, since Nii-sama did all he could to prevent me from becoming a Vice-Captain as he worried for me. But apparently Renji says he doesn't want to hinder my progress anymore.

However, Nii-sama is still Nii-sama, and I am in his division for safety.

The biggest thing that has changed, is the state of my heart. Even though filled with matters pertaining to my new position, they only serve as a distraction from the huge hole, the huge barren area in my heart.

When Ichigo died, something in me died along with him.

But as with everything else, my feelings towards him remain the same. Love, with a hint of anger, and a lot of hope.

I am rewarded, when we get called to a Captain and Vice-Captain meeting.

"We have found Kurosaki Ichigo in the 78th District of Rukongai."

I hear a sharp intake of breath, and some heads turn to look at me, Renji and Nii-sama in particular. Only then do I realize that that was me.

Ichigo… is alive. And he's in the 78th District of Rukongai. Before coming to the Shinigami Academy, Renji and I lived in the 78th District.

Renji meets my glance, and we both roll our eyes.

How ironic.

I hear a low chuckle, and then the long drawl of Kyouraku-taichou. "My, my… that boy seems to subconsciously get into trouble, doesn't he? Even appearing in one of the poorest districts of Rukongai."

My old and favourite Captain (behind Nii-sama and Renji, of course, although I'll probably never admit it), Ukitake-taichou, says concernedly, "We should bring him to Seireitei for induction into the Gotei 13."

Unohana-taichou says, "He will be an invaluable asset to us, what with his Shinigami abilities."

"I agree." Kyouraku-taichou.

"So do I." Nii-sama! My head turns to Renji in shock. Renji seems to misinterpret my gaze, hastily muttering, "H – hell yeah! Bring that carrot-top back!" I roll my eyes again.

Sending chills running down my spine, Zaraki Kenpachi says enthusiastically, "Bring him back. I'm itching for another good fight."

"Cool it, Zaraki. Kuchiki-fuktaichou will be on you if you harm a hair of that boy's head." Kyouraku-taichou says amusedly.

I feel my face burn and I try to hide behind Nii-sama.

We wait for more opinions and agreements, but there are none. Soi Fon-taichou seems bored, Kurotschi-taichou seems indifferent, and Komamura-taichou is silent.

"No objections? Very well then. We will bring Kurosaki Ichigo back into the Gotei 13 for immediate induction. Dismissed!"

--

"Have you heard? It seems those Shinigami sent to bring Kurosaki Ichigo back have all come back injured."

"Some broken limbs."

"Doesn't recognize anyone anymore."

"Needs a real shock to bring his memory back."

"What's going on, Renji?" I ask him, annoyed by all the gossip I'm hearing about Ichigo. "Isn't he back yet?"

"No…" Renji runs a hand through his hair, obviously frustrated. If not, he wouldn't do that for fear of messing up his long, red tresses.

"It appears that he has been attacking every minor Shinigami sent to bring him back. He won't recognize anyone, won't recognize the Shinigami uniform. Even if he's wearing one himself." He snorts.

"He can't activate his Zanpakutou though. According to the minor Shinigamis, he's waving a normal, blunt sword around. But his brute force is something to be reckoned with." He smiles as he remembers the old days.

As Renji lapses into memory, I bite my lip. Will Ichigo remember me anymore?

Seeing my nervousness, Renji grins at me and ruffles my hair. "Don't worry, _6__th__ Division Vice-Captain_, I'm sure he'll remember you!"

"Shut up, Renji!" I slap his hand away.

"Ooh… scary," Renji jumps back from me in mock fear, then catches himself and points a finger at me, growling, "Watch yaself, Kuchiki, you're talking to a Captain here! Show some respect!"

"Why, you…" I shake in anger, then let a sardonic grin come over my face as I tackle him and we both fall to the ground, laughing.

Good times, indeed.

We were interrupted by two Hell Butterflies, who tell us to report to Nii-sama's office immediately.

Arriving at Nii-sama's clean and meticulously arranged office, he wastes no time in telling us why we were summoned.

"Renji (he still has not stopped calling Renji by his name, even though they are, position-wise, equal), Rukia, you are to go get Kurosaki Ichigo and bring him back to Seireitei."

"Why us, Kuchiki-taichou?" Renji has not stopped calling him that either.

"You are the ones who knew him best. I'm sure he'll recognize you and come quietly."

"Are you in charge of this operation, Nii-sama?" I make a guess.

Lucky guess. "Yes, I am."

Renji's eyebrow twitches, but he says nothing. "Let's go, Rukia. The sooner we get him back, the better."

We step out of Nii-sama's office, and it only takes a few steps before Renji cracks up and starts laughing his head off.

"What's so funny?" I am half-annoyed, half-curious.

"Whoo boy, that's the first time I've seen Kuchiki-taichou behave so differently than he normally does!" Renji wipes a few tears from his eyes. "He agreed to Ichigo coming back, he's heading the operation – all for you, Rukia! And it's the first time I've ever seen such a public display of affection for you."

"It's public?!" My voice is incredulous.

"You're such a dolt, you won't get it." Renji says good-naturedly. Then, matter-of-factly and baldly, he says, "He knows Ichigo loves you. He wants him to make you happy! That's probably the only reason he wants Ichigo to come back. Otherwise, I'm willing to bet he'd rather Ichigo be floating around in Hueco Mundo."

I feel dangerous reiatsu leaking from the door of Nii-sama's office, and I quickly push Renji in the direction of the gate, saying "The faster the better, Renji. The faster the better."


	3. Chapter 2

**AUTHOR'S NOTE  
**

**Thank you for the awesome reviews and comments! :D I really hope I don't let you down, I've got tons of pressure on me. D: Well this chapter was the hardest to write by far, so it took a day longer than normal. Hope you like it anyway :)**

--

_KUROSAKI ICHIGO_

Who am I? Where am I? What am I doing in this poor village, dressed in a tattered black robe and carrying this old sword around?

There are so many unanswered questions swirling around in my mind, and I'm frustrated because I can't find the answers to any of them.

And what pisses me off more, is that there have been these weird people dressed in black robes and running towards me yelling, "Kurosaki Ichigo! Ichigo! You've got to go back to Seireitei!"

I mean, _come on_! I have no idea who this Ichigo person is! Neither do I know what or where Seireitei is! I don't even know who the hell I am, for goodness' sake!

It sucks to be in the dark.

Because I was so ticked off by those men in black (hardy-har-har), I took out a few of them, to relieve my anger. God knows I needed it.

None of the villagers have been helping either. They've all been giving me weird looks, and backing off from me like I'm dangerous. They give those dumbos the same glances.

It's as though anyone wearing black is a magnet for attention, and I hate attention.

Anyway, today there haven't been many people on my tail. Being left alone for once, I decided to go exploring an area of the village I've never been in.

Turns out there's this beautiful river in the village. It's sunset now, and when the sun's rays reflect off the surface of the water, the view is breathtaking.

I stand there, admiring the vista, when there's movement, and my eyes automatically swivel to it.

Was I a secret agent or stalker previously? Jeez.

I don't regret tearing my eyes away from the view though. The movement is that of a petite, black-haired girl, her back to me. She stoops to pick up some flowers floating on the river. Holding them up to her face, her eyes turn sad and melancholy.

"If only we could return to those days…" I hear her sigh.

Now I can't look away from this girl. She cuts a dazzling figure against the river, and the questions about myself are blown away, to be replaced with ones asking:

Who is she? Why is she here? Why is she so… sad?

As my curiosity heightens, something in my mind clicks, and the floodgates of memory, locked so tightly and firmly at first, are thrown open…

--

_Renji describing to me, under the influence of Matsumoto's 'special' sake, the time he had fallen in love with Rukia._

"_Standing beside the river, holding a flower, sad look in her eyes… the prettiest thing I had ever seen."_

_A vague thought before I passed out from the sake, that I had also fallen in love with Rukia the first time I set eyes on her…_

--

The memory fades as fast as it appears. More memories, stronger and older this time, assault me even as I'm sent reeling from the first one.

--

_Seeing her for the first time. Black robe. Eyes, alert and roving. Calling her "shinigami". Seeing the tears swim in her beautiful eyes, able to capture my soul from the very start._

"_I'm not 'shinigami'. I'm Kuchiki Rukia."_

_--_

_Clad in white this time. Eyes more melancholy than I have ever seen them. Full of fear, but also shocked and relieved. Hanging, helplessly from the wooden posts of the Sougyoku. Her face, alight with wonder, illuminated further by the brilliant light and fire of the huge bird behind me._

"_Yo."_

"_Ichigo…"_

--

That summer night. Side by side on the grass, staring at the night sky. Seeing a shooting star. My first.

"_Ichigo, Ichigo! Make a wish!"_

"_Huh? I don't believe in stuff like that."_

_A pregnant pause._

"_What did ya wish for?"_

"_Hmm? You're not supposed to tell anyone."_

"_Oh. Right."_

_Another pause._

"_I wished for us… to be together."_

"_Forever?"_

"_Forever."_

_Our lips meeting, so naturally and so smoothly. Like we were pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, a perfect fit._

_Like we were made for each other._

_--_

Renji. Shinigami. Sougyoku. _Rukia._

It all comes back to me now, with a vengeance.

"Rukia." My voice is little more than a whisper.

I run towards her, but she is too deeply entrenched in memories that she does not hear me.

"RUKIA!" I fling my arms around her.

Before I know what is going on, I'm flung back, my chin hurting like someone just elbowed it. Which Rukia just did.

"WHAT THE…" Two spluttered words before I roll down the slope behind me and crash into a bush, sending leaves flying.

"Ichigo? ICHIGO! Oh my God, I'm SO sorry!"

I can't reply for the leaves and dirt in my mouth.

"You idiot, why the hell did you have to do that?!"

"I… it's not my fault! You were the one who sneaked up behind me in the first place! What were you doing there anyway?! Oh… I bet you were stalking me, weren't you! Me sleeping in your cupboard not enough eh, you perv! Kon teach you more tricks this time?!"

"Wha…" I sputter, at a complete loss for words. "How the hell could Kon teach me anyway? I got killed by that son of a bitch Aizen!"

The mention of my death stops her short, and I'm taken aback too. Now that my memories are back, I'm fully aware of who I am, what I'm doing here, and who the person standing, wide-eyed in front of me is.

I'm Kurosaki Ichigo, ex-Shinigami substitute.

And the person in front of me is…

"RUKIA!"

I turn my head to see Renji running down the slope, nearly falling in his haste to reach us.

"Hi to you too, Renji… what the hell, you're a _Captain_ now?!"

"You don't recognize the Shinigami uniform, nearly slaughter close to a whole squad's worth of minor Shinigami, and now you know what a Captain haori looks like? Real sweet, man, Ichigo. Glad you remember us."

"Yeah, me too. Why didn't they send you guys earlier? Figured a Captain and a Vice-Captain –" I had noticed the insignia on Rukia's arm "–had too much to spare for a lowly ex-Shinigami?"

"Very funny, Ichigo…" Rukia looks away from me self-consciously.

"What d'you mean by ex-Shinigami, anyway?" Renji's frowning.

"Oh… Well, I've lost my Shinigami powers! Isn't that obvious?" I wave Zangetsu in front of them. Well, what used to be Zangetsu anyway. Seems like the old man went into hibernation or something.

"That's strange. Your Shinigami powers are well, exceptional." Did Renji just _compliment_ me? "So there's not much reason why you shouldn't have retained your powers, even after you died."

"Riiiiight." I stretch my arms and look away. I'm still uncomfortable with the subject of my death. "So, what are we going to do now?"

"What we're going to do, is to bring you back to Seireitei. That was what those minor Shinigami were trying to get through your thick skull." Before I can protest, Rukia turns her back on me and makes her way down the slope. "Let's go! Hurry up!"

Although she makes an effort to sound like the brave person she always is, we both detect a tremor in her voice. A tremor that always appears when she's crying, or on the verge of.

Seems like Rukia _did_ miss me, after all.

A grin spreads slowly over my face as Renji and I trudge after her.

Life can only get better now.


	4. Chapter 3

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

**Sorry for leaving this story hanging for a while, school has been getting to me even though exams are over D: This is one of my favourite POVs but even so it was hard to write :S So I'm going to put an OOC warning for this story. May not be to you but I certainly think so. Oh, and have fun guessing whose POV it is even though it's quite obvious later on. xD**

**(Oh and I had to change the rating of this story to T because of the violence. :X Gomen gomen -bows-)  
**

**--  
**

_??_

Tch. They forgot about me.

_Again._

It's been extremely boring ever since that fool of a King (why I call him one, I don't know) got his memory back. I thought it would be more fun, someone would remember me, but oh no. Quite the opposite.

That black-haired girl Shinigami and red-haired guy Shinigami brought him – us – back to Seireitei and we went into this large hall. All the captains were there, including that captain with the hair curlers. I remember him. I remember him_ very_ well.

That old geezer sitting right in front then said that the King had to go for training, 'the same one that he did with Urahara Kisuke'. While the King felt a surge of displeasure and impatience, I felt a rush of excitement and was immediately raring to go. That training had caused my appearance, my creation. I remembered the process well, a collection and fusion of all the negative and vengeful, violent feelings in the King. Me.

All the more the training would strengthen me. I had been considerably weakened by that fool losing his memory and wandering around the blasted village for ages.

The King didn't have to struggle as much as he did last time. All he did was plunge into my world – or rather, our world.

But when he entered, all he saw was old man Zangetsu, for that was who he had wanted to see. Who he had wanted to release.

"Ichigo." The steely tones of Zangetsu resonated.

"Zangetsu." Determination in his voice. Feh!

"Finally, you remember me."

"Yes. And I need you to fight by my side."

Cut all the righteous comrade crap and hurry up already! I'm itching to fight.

"Very well." It was as if Zangetsu had heard me as well.

And with that, the King had a weapon again. As the King experienced a burst of joy and victory, I felt something unlocked within me. I can't explain it, but it felt like a door… with those two words, Zangetsu threw it open and let unexpected power flood into me.

Thanks, old man.

--

That was a hundred years ago. Since then the King has been rising rapidly through the ranks of the Gotei 13. Everyone seems to worship the ground he walks on, including some of the captains, even. It sickens me. You would think that captains had more sense.

He's also been considered for the position of Vice-Captain of the 13th Squad. He'll most likely get it since, like I said, he's the Golden Boy of Soul Society.

Can you hear the sarcasm dripping from my words? Those Seireitei goons are completely blinded. I could take him down in two hits, and you call him Vice-Captain material? Save him the humiliation, please.

Indignation and mockery later. Now, we're in the middle of Bankai training with that redhead Shinigami.

"BANKAI! Tensa Zangetsu!"

"Spare me the shouting and fight me, Ichigo!" We narrowly avoid the bared fangs of Hihiou Zabimaru. We've been training like this for so long that every move of Renji's bankai has been ingrained into our mind.

"Watch your words, Renji! You'll be mincemeat when I'm done with you!"

When _we're_ done with you.

"We'll see about that! Hikotsu taihou!"

"Getsuga tenshou!" A black swathe of vicious energy tipped with red meets the ball of swirling power that emits from Hihiou Zabimaru's mouth. I feel my energy up, just another notch.

Keep doing that, King. Keep using that move you so love to use. And then the _real_ showdown will commence.

--

A few days have passed, and the King's Bankai training has intensified. All the better for me.

Now, I feel myself brimming with reiatsu and pure force and power. Whatever power that I had a century ago is insignificant compared to what I feel now.

It's time.

Using tendrils of my newfound reiatsu, I reel the King into my world. It's _my_ world now. You have no place in it.

I see his shocked expression, and his eyes widening in realization. So _now_ you remember me. All of a sudden I feel indescribably angry. How _dare_ you forget my existence?!

"You… you…"

"Hey there, King. Oh, I'm sorry, I meant _horse_. It's time for _me_ to be the King now." Underneath my mocking tone lies the deadly hatred that I have towards this fool. He, who used me and kept me in control for unbearably long. Who prevented me from achieving my full potential.

"I'm not gonna let you." Leveling Zangetsu, he stares at me with a fierce determination.

I throw my head back and laugh long and loud. When I'm done, I look at him and sneer, "You, defeat me? Come off it, Horse! You think you're the only one training?" I see his eyes become uncertain, and savouring that sweet taste of striking fear into his heart, I tell him everything.

"Well, let me tell you this. Whenever you train with Renji, whenever you fight, I am fighting too. I've always been a part of you. Fighting together, sharing your emotions, feeling whatever you feel." I wrinkle my nose in disgust.

"But that ends now." Leveling my own sword and facing him, I feel a smirk – the one I used to wear so often – come over my face.

"I'm gonna squash you, and you'll be nothing compared to what I'll be! Actually, you only have yourself to blame for this. And I should thank you for using Getsuga Tenshou, again and again." My satisfaction is heightened by the horror he feels. Damn, even when we're facing each other, we're still connected. I want to break that connection, _now_.

"Getsuga… Tenshou? That's impossible!"

"Get off your high horse, Kurosaki. Literally. Who came up with Getsuga Tenshou? _Kuroi getsuga_? Who used it first? Who taught it to you? _Me._ And so, it is rightfully mine. When you use what is mine, I grow stronger. Simple."

"Enough talk. I want this over with." Not even waiting for his reaction, I lunge towards him, brandishing my Zangetsu. Fair play has never been one of my best suits anyway.

But before I can land a blow, he blocks it and forces me back. I grunt with exertion. Seems the training did do something for his reflexes after all.

Undeterred, I slash towards him again. I will not rest until he's out of my world, out of my way!

--

A few rounds later, I'm pissed. This is taking _way_ too long.

"BANKAI! Tensa Zangetsu." I feel the sword in my sweaty hand evolve into a gleaming black sword, and the robes I'm wearing change into the Bankai outfit.

His eyes narrow, and I know what he's thinking.

"It won't work, Horse. Trust me."

"BANKAI! Tensa Zan…" He is cut off abruptly as the black sword that had just appeared in his hand glows brightly and with a sound like a crack, changes back into Shikai.

"Wha…" Disbelief and shock. Your loss, my gain.

"I told you it wouldn't work!" I swipe at him and knock him off his feet, his blood staining my robes.

"Forgot to tell ya, Horse." I put my foot on his chest, and get a perverse kick out of seeing him struggle and spit out yet more blood. "Bankai training for you… means Bankai training for me, too." I bring the sword down, hard, only to meet his pathetic Shikai. Cracks appear in his sword and his eyes widen.

"It's OVER, Kurosaki!" Impatience and exasperation takes over me and I bring my sword down again, harder. This time, his 'Zangetsu' shatters and I hear the satisfying crunch of metal breaking bone.

"ARGH!" An anguished scream of pain. This further serves to fuel my bloodlust and I twist the sword around in his body, a sadistic grin spreading over my face.

"One twist for using me, one twist for stealing my technique, another twist for controlling me, and the last twist to make sure you'll never get up again." A maniacal giggle escapes my lips at the sight of his body spasming and the knowledge that he'll be gone forever. I catch myself. I must not lose my consciousness.

I stop and yank Tensa Zangetsu out of his already lifeless body. Getting ready to step out of my world into the one out there, I say one last thing.

"Bye, Horse. Have fun dying a second time."


	5. Chapter 4

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

**Next chapter up! Yay :D I didn't get many reviews for the previous chapter so this one came out a bit late, since I didn't know how well I wrote D: but still decided to do this one anyway. This was heavily influenced by songs such as _Sha Shou_ by JJ Lin, Fighter by Christina Aguilera, All Around Me by Flyleaf, My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion (I think this should be Kaien's theme song! xD) and Where'd You Go by Fort Minor. And don't be surprised if you spot a Fall Out Boy reference in the last bit. xD Well enough rambling; I really hope you enjoy this chapter and reviews and concrit are welcomed! (:**

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_KUCHIKI RUKIA_

"Ichigo! ICHIGO!"

I sigh and run a hand through my already mussed-up hair in frustration. I've been searching for that idiot to close to an hour and I still can't find him!

I reach for my vice-captain badge, which had tilted slightly in my search, and absent-mindedly straighten it. It reminds me of what I need to tell Ichigo: the vice-captain selection test. Obscenities flow through my mouth (something unbefitting of a Kuchiki, but at this moment, I can't care less) as I recall Kyouraku-taichou clapping a heavy hand on my shoulder and leaving me to find Ichigo. But after all, it was to be expected: everything handled by the 8th Division is last-minute.

And that's when Kyouraku-taichou is sober. When he's drunk, often things don't happen at all.

I shake my head and come back to the present. It's imperative that I find Ichigo now. If I don't tell him, he would kill me. Even if I was his girlfriend.

_Girlfriend_. That word makes me shiver involuntarily. Have we really gotten that far? Memories start trickling into my mind. Stabbing him with the sword. The feel of the shabby white kimono on my skin. Seeing his gleaming, black bankai for the first time.

Bankai. _Bankai._ I turn and rush off to the bankai training area.

--

My stamina needs serious training. When I reach the open clearing, I'm panting and clutching my side for a huge stitch.

And I'm further irritated by the fact that he's not here!

I swear under my breath (again) but I notice footsteps leading off into the forest. I follow, and I come to the clearing where…

Sweat beads on my skin. My hands turn clammy and instinctively stray to the hilt of Sode no Shirayuki. Though it used to before, the cool sensation of the hilt does nothing to calm me. Calm. _Calm._ You need to find Ichigo. Ichigo. Ichigo… He looks like… Kaien-dono… _Kaien-dono…_

_The splatter of warm blood on me. My robes. My face. My hair. Blood. Warm, red blood. Kaien-dono's blood._

"_Kaien-dono…"_

_His hand on my back. His firm grasp. His comforting albeit tired and weary voice…_

"_Thank you, Kuchiki…"_

_An anguished scream. Mine._

"_KAIEN-DONO!"_

I am jolted back to the present by a rustle in the grass. After looking around frantically in case of an enemy, I see Ichigo. I let out a breath I don't realize I've been holding. Finally! His back is to me, and I can't help but admire his bankai outfit, and his broad shoulders, and his shocking orange hair…

I space out _way_ too much. "Ichigo!"

He turns around slowly, and instead of the warm brown eyes I'm always used to, I see desolate black with slits of yellow.

My blood turns to ice. I… completely… forgot… didn't expect…

_I thought he had it under control!_

"Heya, Rukia_-chan_." I hear Ichigo's voice. He says the last word mockingly.

_No. That is not his voice. It is not. It is not…_

"Where is Ichigo?" My voice is fearful, and I curse myself for being such a coward.

Derisive laughter. "That loser? He's _my_ horse now. But I bet you don't understand, do you, Rukia-chan?"

He's right. No, I don't understand. But I won't let him – _it_ – have the pleasure of my ignorance.

"That's of no importance." I unsheathe my sword, hoping it will intimidate him.

I fail, miserably. _It_ laughs, again. "So you really don't know! The horse never did bother telling you, did he? He never did _trust_ you enough to tell you, did he? Poor, poor Rukia-chan." Sarcasm drips from Ichigo's voice, and his words pierce a hole in my heart.

Did Ichigo really trust me as much as I thought he did?

_It's not his voice!_

My mind is incoherent and thoughts are swirling around like a hurricane, but one thing is clear:

I must kill it. Then Ichigo will be saved. His heart will be with me. Just like Kaien-dono…

Even so, I feel tears making tracks down my face as I shakily right my sword to face him.

"Gonna take me on, are you, Rukia-chan? Aren't you worried about him being hurt?" He spreads his arms wide, as if inviting me to hurt him. To hurt Ichigo.

My hands start to shake even more and I take a deep breath. No more words. I don't trust myself to say the right things anymore.

I charge forward, sword unsteady, footwork clumsy. What chance do I have of winning?

--

My question is answered when halfway through a slash aimed directly at my head, the black and yellow disappear to be replaced with shades of brown.

My heart stops, and my sword held up in a block falters.

Then the brown is consumed by black and yellow again, and Tensa Zangetsu comes down on Sode no Shirayuki, hard. I wince as my arms struggle to block his blows.

Although he – it! – wears a smirk, there is slight fear in his eyes. He seems to know that I know, and he says, "So I have a strong horse. No matter, it will perish from exhaustion soon enough…"

My heart palpitates even more than it did before and I'm ashamed by how he manages to get to me with his barbed comments.

"Shut up! Ichigo will not die!" I break the block and swipe at him a few times, which he agilely dodges. And so the talking stops and the fighting starts again.

Although little is said, thoughts are racing through my brain faster than before.

_Ichigo… Ichigo's still alive! He said it himself!_

_But he also said Ichigo would die soon. And as much as you don't want it to happen, you know just how strong the Hollow is, right?_

_I… I can't hurt him. Hurting him means hurting Ichigo. And Ichigo's still alive…_

_Don't tell yourself that. You need to kill him, remember? You need to take his heart with you._

In a direct contradiction to my thoughts, his eyes turn brown again, washing away any doubt of Ichigo's existence. To add fuel to the flame, he opens his mouth and a few strangled words escape them.

"Rukia… Leave… run…"

_Ichigo. He's alive._

The sound of his voice – his comforting albeit tired and weary voice – fans the spark of hope within me into a blaze.

"ICHIGO!" I reach out as though to grab him, and then I realize my mistake.

The black and gold are back, and I catch a glimpse of his merciless eyes as I am thrown back against a tree, my whole body racked with pain caused by a vicious kick to my chest.

Slumped against the tree, I struggle to get up, and my vision is tainted red. I cough and blood splashes onto the ground beneath my feet.

It seems that while Ichigo's voice ignited hope within me, it extinguished my conviction to kill him.

Recognizing my weakness, both physical and psychological, his attacks become more vicious and merciless. My blocks falter and my parrying slow. Breaking through the crimson haze in my mind, I realize I am not attacking any more.

_What's the point of attacking? Ichigo's still alive… I can't kill him!_

Maybe the reason why Ichigo and I were together was that our minds were somehow, inexplicably connected. I say this at this inopportune moment because Ichigo's voice cleaves cleanly through the haze in my mind, in response to my thoughts.

"Rukia… cut… kill him… don't worry… me…"

I'm stopped dead in my tracks. Ichigo was telling me to kill me.

_But… I can't… that's Ichigo we're talking about… no…_

Suddenly my body is shaking, convulsing, tears pouring from my eyes like rain.

_Why is this happening to me again?!_

As I stand there, racked with emotion, I do not see the shining black blade, slick with blood, ram through Shirayuki, raised in a weak block, and then through me. Numbed by pain and indecisiveness, I do not even feel it. I hear one half of Shirayuki clatter to the ground, the sound hollow with finality.

It's another cruel coincidence when he raises his sword triumphantly into the air and laughs, laughs and laughs as I hang off it limply like a doll. The metal of his sword just feels like the trident that did this to me, so long ago…

The red haze is swirling around me once again. I can faintly see his laughing, bestial face, as he rejoices in my death. Ichigo's face. And in that instant, my heart breaks.

"NO! RUKIA!" I am half-conscious and I can feel myself slipping into the darkness, the yawning trench that is below me, but I still hear Ichigo's scream. The scream of a broken man, the scream of someone who has lost his dearest.

"Shut up, you!" I hear his voice. "Rukia-chan, do you want to know? Do you want to know, Rukia-chan? I'm sure you want to, don't you?" He's delirious with the ecstasy of the kill, giggling like a madman.

"Those were your _dear_ Ichigo's last words. I've killed him too, for good. He'll never get up again." The viciousness in his voice is replaced by sarcasm. "Oh well, he was a good horse while he lasted."

At his words, the red haze surrounding me is whipped up into a fiery blaze. _How dare he talk of Ichigo like that. _Fury courses through me and runs through my veins, giving me strength to raise Sode no Shirayuki one last time. I dumbly realize that I did not summon her during the fight, not once, and I berate myself. Well, let this be the last time then.

"San no Mai, Shirafuni!"

Through the red fire that dances before me, I see the pure, angelic white of Shirayuki appear and coalesce to form a second blade.

"I'm sorry, Rukia-chan. That won't work."

Suddenly, the beauty of Shirafuni is marred by a hand that grasps the end and breaks it. As it breaks, my heart further shatters into millions of tiny pieces, so much that it's impossible to pick up the pieces again, so much that the damage is irreparable.

The fire dulls and reverts back to a crimson haze, but through it I remember telling Ichigo about what happened the other time with the Espada. About what happened with Shirafuni. And I remember that he had been supportive and nice about it.

At the rate I was slipping into the abyss, I wasn't remembering much anymore.

As I finally let go and felt myself plunging through the haze into the darkness, I heard his voice:

"Thanks for the memories, Rukia-chan. Think of this as repayment for your _dear_ Ichigo 'riding' on me for so long."


End file.
